Back in the USSR

It's good to be back in the Motherland, everything is
a little more interesting here. For instance as I was
walking out of the cafeteria the other day one student
came running down shouting "don't eat at the
cafeteria! Don't eat at the Cafeteria!! there's been a
hepatitis A outbreak 20 kids are in the hospital!"
welcome home! (fear not I’m not only vaccinated from
it but also later found out it was a bad gyro stand
not our cafeteria, thank goodness I go for the bliny
stands and not the gyro's!!) Then about 2 days ago I
went to the internet cafe, and after typing out a nice
long email for you people(on a keyboard that required
a hammer to push the keys down) I took a momentary
stretch and of course the screen went blue and the
computer crashed before I could send it, ah sweet
sweet Mother Russia.
No it really is good to be back, it is staying light
out till about 9 o’clock now and it's not even April,
things are sure to be wild in may. For the last 2 days
it's been pouring out, which mind you is the first
rain I’ve ever seen in St. Petersburg so it must mean
it's warming up. You can actually see sidewalk. I
don't need 3 layers to go across the street, it's
pretty cool. There are a few drawbacks though that
some might find unpleasant, it turns out that the city
turns into a mud pit in spring, or more accurately a
deadly combination of mud and ice which can lead to
some nasty spills. I think I might be the only person
left who hasn't taken a spill yet (I’m thinking of
investing in spiked shoes to keep this streak alive)
Jarrod took a digger that set off a car alarm the
other day, even the babushka's stopped to laugh.
Another flaw is that after 5 months of perma-frost
the dog poop is starting to be uncovered, so now you
have to dodge ice, mud, puddles and dog shit, it's a
minefield on the sidewalks(not to mention the months
of accumulated litter). It's not what you'd call
pretty in St. Pete's right now. But I’m loving it, I
have no class and just wander the streets on a daily
basis, I walked Dostoevsky's old stomping ground the
other day and saw all the Crime and Punishment sights,
which now just like everywhere in this city is filled
with gambling stores (I really don't know what else to
call them, their not casino's their just rooms with
slot machines and a beer vending machine). Dostoevsky
would be proud!
We haven't returned to the banya yet this month
although I think tonight might be the night as we all
just had our midterms (which were pathetically easy,
apparently we have already "bought" our grades and no
one fails here) so we could use a good night of
Russian silliness.
Although we've become a little more accustomed to
Russian life recently, the other day we did discover
something rather bizarre, Russians apparently love
Mexican food, can't get enough. We wanted to go out to
eat at a Mexican place the other day and we found
about 4 in St. Petersburg, we went to the first one
right down the street, full, completely full they
wouldn't seat us till after 10 (it was like 7). Okay
never even seen a restaurant in Russia half full, but
maybe it was a party. we decide to call the next one
on the list also full (or at least that's what we
think they said) are you kidding. so we get blinys
instead, which also turned out disastrous as jarrod
ordered 2 chicken blinys and got two with red caviar,
oh yeah he was rather upset. So the next day we decide
to go out at 5 how can they be full at 5, go to the
first one yep full no seating again till 9 so we call
the second one also full, no one in Russia even eats
at 5 what the hell is going on. then we trek halfway
across town to the third one they are also packed but
they agree to seat us on the condition that we eat
within 2 hours. it was worth it but next time we're
making reservations (as soon as we learn how to say
that in Russian)
On Saturday it will be official, we only have a month
and a half left in this northern paradise, so I’ll be
kicking up the sightseeing, as soon as the weather
improves (ha!!). Unless of course Mr. Bush decides to
block the boarders and then perhaps i can spend a
little more time over here (I hear he is not happy
with my adopted homeland right now) ell
Safety, Fun and Finally the Sun
As you can see the emails are getting less frequent,
mostly because now that I can see sidewalk and it's
light until 930 one really wants to do things. I've
been walking the streets quite a bit getting to know
the city. The biggest events this week were again
safety related (I’m pretty sure all cities in America
are more dangerous though).
Friday night we went out to this little hole in the
wall Russian bar called Dacha, it's always packed
literally shoulder to shoulder, in fact it resembles a
packed subway car. A whole bunch of us went Jarrod and
I were just commenting on how if a fight broke out
things would be a massacre when matt, one of my
roommates cut in on a guy trying to hit on another
American (why the Russian would be afraid of an
American man wearing eyeliner beats me) and promptly
put his arm on Matt’s shoulder and said
"Americanits??" then Matt shrugged the guys hand of
and away it went he grabbed Matt's throat, Matt’s
boyfriend grabbed Matt he got hit in the face, Pavel
another American tried to break it up he got hit to
the ground and kicked in the face by the bouncer. This
is bad but those of us who realized the possibilities
just were fearing one thing and yep Pavel answered
"Jarrod help me"... oh fuck now we're all going to
jail. Jarrod is gone from my side in a second,
throwing little Russian stick figures right and left
immediately he is in the tussle, luckily for everyone
the fight was basically over and we were all just
promptly hustled out of the bar (this is the second
bar fight matt has caused, I’m beginning to think that
eyeliner isn't such a good idea at Russian clubs).
The next day we learn that another group of our
friends were mugged and beat up outside that same bar,
needless to say that one is off the list. Now that
it's nicer out the pickpocket gangs have also come
into fashion, I was getting on to the subway
yesterday, and the car wasn't even that packed but all
of a sudden I’m being bumped and pushed, then when I’m
on the car I’m suddenly cornered by 4 Russians
pretending to talk on their cell phones, their tactic
as far as I can see is to cover all angles so that
they can get your wallet but I had my hands in my
pockets so they switch to plan b which is since you
can't get around them you take your hands out of your
pockets to push them, I didn't do this either so they
exited the train before the doors had closed. The same
thing happened to Jacob and Jarrod. And let's not
forget that the holiday of hate is approaching
(Hitler's birthday) where we have all been told that
we shouldn't leave IMOP because the skinheads go
crazy.
Brighter news: The ice on the Neva and other canals
is just starting to break and float out into the ocean
so in another few days or so the bridges start going
up in the evenings which can make life difficult as
you can't get out of St. Petersburg proper from like 1
till 4 you can imagine how not fun that is going to
be. But on the bright side pretty soon it'll be light
out when the bridges rise and that is apparently a
favorite Russian tradition to watch them, I’m down if
I can drag myself out to see that hour in the morning.

On Sunday we again tried to see the Finland gulf and
were successful, in fact we got to walk out on it (as
far as we dare, although you could actually see little
tent cities about a mile out on the ice, I bet they
sleep well at night) not only did we see the gulf of
Finland but we also found an amusement park (with a
conspicuous title of "diva" with an obvious Disney
trademark "D", love that the Russians don't give a
damn for copyrights) and we got to play bumper cars
(the Russian children and parents were not to pleased
by the hooliganing Americans bashing into them, but we
had fun) And Saturday was our spring meal which was
AIFS paid for (good to see that 10,000 went somewhere)
where we went to an Armenian restaurant and had a nice
traditional Russian dish (shashleek, which is some
sort of skewered meat) indeed we couldn't figure out
what was so Armenian about the meal, but hey it was
good. to those questions about bad vodka I just read
the other day that 35,000 people a year die from bad
vodka, indeed that's why we are told to always spend
at least 4 dollars on a bottle (no skimping out here)
although I wonder if it's bad vodka or too much vodka.
As to when I get home it's may 13th, about midnight.
as to cute Russian girls, yes they are here but when
you see that they all turn into these crazy jaded and
angry Russian babushkas you'd think twice (it really
is an amazing transformation, how do you lose that
many inches of height I’ll never figure out) greetings
from the alcohol capitol of the world ell