Travels with my Mother

No one said it would be easy, travelling never
is, especially with your mother. It started the
moment we were leaving "now you've got your tickets
right?" and "Now when we get to the airport we're
going to check our bags so make sure you have
everything you need" "yes sue", "Yes Mother". It's
almost as though she thinks i've never travelled
before. Oh well this is what you get when you put two
people on a trip together who both always think
they're right.
We arrived in Istanbul 2 days ago, after a terrible
layover in a Paris terminal which had no seats, or
actually it had about 17 seats for the 500 people
waiting in the terminal, and most of those seats were
reserved, i.e. empty and gaurded by a vicious French
woman who hovered overthem gaurding them for those
passengers travelling by bus (apparently bus
travellers get first dibs in Charles de Gaulle). The
experience was so awful that i have officially
renounced my defense of the french.
Istanbul itself is spectacular, after a minor hangup
at the airport (we didn't know we needed a visa) we
went straight to our hotel which has a terrace which
overlooks the Blue Mosque on one side and Aya Sofia on
the other,they serve breakfast everyday on terrace as
well. The first thing that struck me about istanbul
is the sobriety (after russia every one looks a little
more sober) instead of the common curbside beer
drinking there is nothing but juice and tea, people
running through the streets delivering tea from vendor
to vendor. Even the fishermen, who are on the shore
all day don't have that bottle of wine between them,
instead they are just pounding back a thermos of hot
Chai.
Kebabs have been disappointing, I was under the
impression that a kebab, doner kebab, gyro, Shaverma,
etc, were all the same thing, a wrapped meat sandwich
for the road, however here i keep getting myself into
trouble when i order a kebab, and immediately the
person tells me to take a seat ("perhaps he's just
slow at making them and wants me to rest" i think)
insted he comes back with a plate of food and i am
once again stuck with an immobile meal. And of course
they are so nice there is no explaining to them that
you've made another dreadful mistake and would like to
run away now.
Perhaps the most odd thing that has happened to us so
far has been our experience with the shoe shiners.
The first day as we were walking along the sea side we
passed a man walking with his shoe shine kit, as he
walked by he dropped his brush, I picked it up and
handed it to him, he insisted that i take a shoeshine,
i refused as i had already made my first mistaken
kebab order earlier and we were trying to make up
time. Then again this evening as we were walking home
the same thing happened and the man again insisted on
giving me a shoeshine, i again refused (why the hell
would i want my hiking boots shined). Now I was
beginning to get suspicious, was this a con?? do they
with a flick of the wrist drop their brush trying to
drum up a tip by offering a free shoeshine for picking
up their brush. Sue and I were having a good chuckle
about this (we occasionally do have good moments when
the two of us don't want to kill each other) when the
man in front of us again dropped his brush, this time
a woman picked it up for him I believe she was
Turkish, and he thanked her and walked on, so i don't
really know whether or not it is a scam or wether they
just need to redesign the shoeshine kit with a strap
to hold the brush on.
well my hour is almost up and the old lady upstairs
(who i fear many a person in this country thinks is my
sugar mamma)has demanded news from the world outside,
and seeing as how we've been bickering all day i'd
better just do this to avoid any further trouble.
ell