Paradise Park: The White Township

I have been really lucky this semester to have decided to take astronomy here. My teacher is a world renowned astronomer who should have been a comedian, every class is like stand-up. Actually he just delivered his last lecture at UCT after 30 years of teaching and the entire science faculty was in my astronomy 100 class, some of his old students even flew in to be at his last lecture, he's a legend. But the best part of the astronomy class was that last weekend he took us out on an overnight camping trip to the desert (Karoo) to visit one of the South hemisphere's largest telescopes (number 2 I think) and do some observing in the dark desert sky.
So dumb old me spent the friday night before the trip getting a good amount of sleep, then the next morning I got up packed a light bag including a light sleeping bag and headed to the meeting point. The first thing I noticed was the size of the bags everyone else had, large, "what could these people have for an overnight" after a five hour bus trip we arrived in the Karoo, my first trip to the desert. The first thing I realized was I was drastically underdressed, and the large bags were sleeping bags for the night. Now I assumed that this being a school trip, it would be pretty mellow. I guess that was when I noticed the people boozing and smoking weed, and this 70 year old man just chilling in the midst of it as if it wasn't happening or just didn't care. Now I had prepared myself for 40 degree temps and that was what it was, but I hadn't considered the wind, which was whipping at a cool 40 miles an hour, blowing our tents all over and getting the "feels like" temperature to about 0. I didn't sleep most of the night partially because the stars were amazing and mostly because i was afraid i would lose a digit in the evening.
That was my first "wholesome" weekend, this last weekend Arne and i decided to have another "wholesome" weekend by going out biking along the coast for two days. Of course our first obstacle was that we wanted to leave really early on saturday morning and of course our favorite band was playing on longstreet friday night, well needless to say we wound up staying up til 3 am jumping up and down and dancing until we were exausted.
we awoke exausted at 7:30 the next morning, sure 4 hours is plenty for a 80 kilometer day (sound familiar levi??) We started off strong, nice tailwind, fairly flat road couple of bumps but nothing too bad, and it was gorgeous out. Then we hit the first mountain, a good 25 minute climb followed by a 5 minute decent of equal distance, and then back into the climb. It was some sort of mental and physical torture, there were no flats, just long painful uphills followed by quick downhills and then more long painfull uphills. After each hill Arne and I would simply break into hysterics as we looked over at the next cliff which would include a huge uphill and a huge downhill. after 40 k we could barely move, but we had to make it to the town with the hostel, which was still 40 ka away. Sadly we had started a bit late (we had to drive to the start and only started at noon) so around 4 we were still a bit far away (somebody had to stop and take photos of the baboons too) so we decided that hitchhiking was safer than riding into the night, so we sat down on the side of the road and prepared some sandwiches for the wait. I hadn't even taken the first bite when a van drew up with 4 people on board all of whom seemed a little to giddy to pick us up. "hop on in guys, going to hermanus??" "yeah thanks" "no problem, here have a beer, we've been at a 4x4 rally all day. We'll give you a ride to hermanus but first i promised my girl here a game of pool." ( I think I actually heard Levi laughing at me for this situation) The first thing I noticed about these guys besides the fact that they had been drinking large quantities of alcohol was that they were pure afrikaaners, they had the real accent.
They brought us to this dive bar literally out in the middle of nowhere. I have never felt less comfortable in a bar, perhaps i'm just used to being in the minority now, but the bar was all white, and they all stared at us rather suspiciously. The guys we were with introduced us to everyone, which was even weirder, one of the guys had an addiction to tiger balm, which was a new one for me, he took it and stuck it up his nose, fair enough, the guy was a huge rugby fan, and looked like he could probably crumple arne and i, so when he insisted we try it I found myself sticking tiger balm up my nose and inhaling deeply, I don't know if I got high, but it certainly smelled like eucalyptus for quite some time. The next guy I met really brought out the true character of the bar to light "yeah Fish-haven used to be amazing until the ANC (African National Congress) moved all the kaffirs (derogatory term for Black peopple) oh wait i'm not supposed to use that term anymore- Blacks here to win the election" I was begining to get a little uncomfortable, needless to say. Eventually we headed out, only after the guys decided we were spending the night at their house (our guys were much more tolerant and nice than the rest of the bar crowd). We headed off towards their house, although not before cruising through the townships at about 60 hitting speed bumps sending those of us in the back a solid foot off the ground (just what you need after a long day of riding - to fall on your ass repeatedly). "Now you guys I know you think the van is very nice, but our house is rather plain, you see we live in a township, a white township" Now I've heard it all. we arrive at the house and honestly it was rather nice, i couldn't see the other houses, but this one was nice. well needless to say we stayed up way to late, watching one of the guys' dog do trick, which includes holding a cigarette in his mouth while walking around, and for some reason that I couldn't understand we kept listening to Guns n Roses, (no complaint for me) in particular "Paradise City" which everyone belted out in their drunken own way. eventually arne and I were able to excuse ourselves and crawl into bed. the next morning was rough, real rough, I couldn't move my neck at all from clenching my shoulders on the uphills my head hurt for some reason and my butt was really painful. Arne and I made a quick exit in the morning for fear of being forced back to the bar, we gingerly got on the bikes and I immediately realized what a "White Township" was: a trailer park. And then I realized why the emphasis on paradise city, the name of the park was Paradise Park.
We rode home the full 85k hungover and really unable to put our butts on the bike seats, but triumphant not only in the concept of an amazing ride, but also a ridiculous night with real Afrikaaners (hey it was uncomfortable but it was an interesting side to SA) and the glory of staying in a white township.
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Kalle Trophy, Township Wedding: How Gangsta is That?

Well there had been a lot of build up to this past week and weekend. Arne one of my German roomates had recruited us into his Kalle Trophy months ago, We'd been anticipating the Township wedding for weeks and a 50 Cent concert in Cape Town was a must. Let's start with The Kalle Trophy, a time honored German tradition of drinking and walking on Fathers Day (sssshhhhhh no one tell the gemans that May first is actually Worker's Day). Apparently Arne has been running this tradition for 9 years and he was determined to bring it to cape town. We got quite a crew including Gary, the owner of the Corner Bar, we even did a cruise out to the site of the walk a week in advance with Gary (which involved going to pick him up in Mitchel's Plain on the Cape Flats, keep that in mind for later) We settled on Tocai Forest where i went riding earlier this trip.
The day finally arrived, we all gathered at our house (gary and his wife actually slept at the bar the night before so as to be ready- I don't really know why his wife did, but whatever) and one of our female roomates gave us a ride to the forest(for some reason this is an all male event). We had a trailer for our beer as is tradition, ours was our trash can. Needless to say seven guys with sharpie written t-shirts with necklaces of beer cans were a complete success. It was a national holiday, everyone was barbequeing or braai-ing and drinking heavily. We spent our time walking between campfires cooking our own meat and talking to people. It was perfect, the day was beautiful everyone thought that they had never seen anything so silly as a group of Americans Germans and South Africans towing a big trash can full of beer and meat. Then as usual, there was the dancing, you can't seem to go anywhere without a spontaneous dance party, this is why we always bring our german, Flo with us because he can outdance anyone under the sun and then we can just sit back and watch.
It's always a good day when you wake up and put on a pinstripe suit, and that saturday was one of those days. Arne and I decided to rent suits for the occasion, and if you are gonna rent suits you might as well go pinstripes. we show up at the meeting place painfully overdessed (or in our opinion, spectacular) and head to the township. This was an amazing experience, I can't stress enough how amazing the energy at this wedding was unbelievable. We arrived at her house and the singing and dancing was in full effect, dozens of women in full color african dress chanting and singing grabbing us and pulling us into the circles. After the bride came out of the house in a beautiful home made dress the procession sang their way to the church which if was in the US rather resembled a VFW hall. But this was more of a church than any I've ever been in, the wedding party danced down the aisle to Xhosa songs and the marriage was performed by a "fire and brimstone" priest who did more scolding and warnings about South African society (he at one point screamed that the devil was present during the ceremony, it got eerily creepy when he would switch into Xhosa) than commending the couple. Then Lindiwe (the bride and our house manager) was given a new name and they were pronounced man and wife. Then came the more unexpected aspect of the wedding, the reception. We were under the impression that there would be a braai at Lindiwe's house and there would be a party all night, but actually we went to a school gymnasium where there was an eloquent reception which you would all recognize as a belonging in a wedding, well except once again for the group songs and spontaneous dancing. The African touch?? we sat in two informal sittings where when you were done you got up and someone else took your seat, this created an really cool mix, we got to meet lots of people. I think the only way that I can explain the energy of this event was that in the initial trip to the church one of the few cars that were going accidentally ran over and killed the neighbors puppy, (gruesome I know) but there was no stopping of singing or anything there was too much excitement for the occasion, even the owner seemed not too mind.
We had to leave early though, we had a concert to go to, a fifty cent concert no less on the cape flats. Perfect. It was not as wild as we would have liked though, we thought for sure the scene would be really exciting even though none of us really like the music. Instead it was rather not full, but there were some rather amusing moments watching 50 cent try and act gangster in a city that certainly held some tougher men than him. My favorite moment was when he brought up a group of what appeared to be small children up on the stage made a couple of comments about children being the future or something then asked one of the girls how old she was. "22" she replied and fifty was rendered speechless. Then he tried to play a dangerous game, Guess-Where-That-Guy-In-The-Audience-Is_From. "I've been all over Africa and I can tell where guys are from, that guy is from Angola!!" Nope, South African care to try again fifty? "Well that guy in the grey definitely is" nope Mozambique. It got quite amusing, also at the end of every song he played a gunshot sound, the first few times you saw quite a few people jump, but eventually they realized what was going on.
Recently Gary burnt us two of his favorite movies, we had let them sit about for a while not thinking about them until the day after the fifty cent concert when we decided to put one in. It wasn't a movie it was a documentary about Polsmore Prison, the prison located just outside of town (right next to the US Consulate) and the gangs that call it home. Disturbing and scary. The first scene was of the inmates being strip searched on entry to the prison, each man was made to squat before entry so as to make sure that they aren't carrying drugs and according to the head warden "to prepare them for being raped" Then we met some of the "Numbers" most of whom had come in for just a few years but were now in for life "they prefer here to the outside". Then they travelled out to the Cape Flats where the majority of the gang members come from (indeed the gang is now also an outside of prison gang) They interviewed the Americans which is a gang on the flats complete with there own "White house" where they smoke Tik or Meth. They are the most powerful game on the Cape and have thousands of members, and they are aligned with the Numbers. Then the documentary went back into the prison where the warden discussed the way the prison was broken down, this was perhaps the most bizarre part, they label half the prison "for gangsters only" literally the signs on the walls say gangster section. They might as well say "numbers hangout". He then acknowledged that they don't attempt to stop drugs, rape or fighting/ murder, they just try to keep them from overpowering the guards who they outnumber 100 to 1. well I feel safe just a few k from the prison. Well at least I live in Obz, not near where these gangs hang out.
The next day Tom ran into Gary and told him how fascinated we were with his documentary. "Oh yeah isn't it crazy, there are so many of the Number's that hang out in Obz. They love to go out to the bars here." Perfect, stay away from the tatooed guys in the corners of bars. e

Mustaches, Bikes and Books

so what has it been two weeks?? It has been an interesting 2 weeks I guess the place to start is the mustache party, i swear i'd never even been to a theme party until i came here, no every week i seem to have to do something to my hair or dress. I can't grow a mustache, lets just put that out there to begin with, luckily neither can most in only a weeks time, so i would say there were about 100 heavily mascara clad mustaches at this party. It was a great party, they even managed to get an American Classic, a keg. unfortunately there was no yard at this house so the party just slowly poured out onto the street until it was something of a block party, that is when the five cop cars came and broke up the party, thats right in one of the most dangerous countries in the world the police have nothing better to do than break up mustache parties (i love the thought of them getting back to the station and telling the others "you would not believe the party we just broke up!!") Luckily the house was just a stones through from The Corner Bar. Now I think i might have mentioned this place once or twice, but i can only say that i might have created a monster. It was the same bar we had the birthday party at where i baked the cat cake, and yeah i've become rather close with the owner (i currently have a tab there for making his 14 year old daughter a cake for her birthday, heart shaped for chris brown, who apparently is a musician). But now I can hardly go out without someone saying "ell we've got to go to the corner bar i've never been and i hear the samoosas are incredible (true this family run bar boasts some of the best food around)" so needless to say, when the party was busted we went to the corner bar. Anyway in the morning we got up for our group trip to Robben Island. We happened to go on one of the roughest days of the year, perfect after a mustache party. The whole tour I was just walking around in a group and i could never figure out why I felt so awkward, then after taking a couple of pictures around the island I realized I still had my handlebar mascara mustache. perfect. besides this the trip to Robben Island was excellent, they have an ingenious concept of giving you two tour guides one a former Pan African Congress prisoner and then a African National Congress prisoner, it was awesome, and the island itself was beautiful, the view of cape town was spectacular.
The next day Jorn my dear Norwegian friend borrowed some bikes from another group of our south African friends (this is becoming a habit) and went on an all day bike ride through cape town to cape point. well you can't win them all, about mid way out one of the bikes broke, so we're stuck about an hour from cape town with two rather large bicycles, luckily the ticket salesmen for the trains said for a mere dollar more we could take our bikes on the train, the only problem with this was that this information was not known to anyone else working in the station, so at every new entrance we were told that we couldn't take the bikes on the train, followed by that person going back to the ticket counter to find out, this happened about 4 times before we were allowed to get on the train. The best part was when we finally get the bikes on board and one of the passengers leans over and says "are you allowed to bring bikes on board?"
Now on a sad and disturbing note, there have been many violent crimes in and around campus lately, firstly there was an armed robbery on the campus last saturday, where the end result was a shootout with the campus security, however there was no injuries. Then much more tragically on monday one of the professors here was murdered outside his house as he was backing his car out to let his wife into the garage, two men tried to take his car and apparently there was a problem. This is the second such incident at UCT this year. Also one of our study abroad students was in an altercation the other night where he wound up stabbed by a screwdriver. He was fine luckily but this is one of many robberies that I know of, I've been lucky so far though.
But I won't end on such a sad note.
The other day I was thinking that perhaps I hadn't really set the scene of what it is like here at least academically. We've all been trying to really figure out how to describe what the school here is like. It's not really like school, you go to lectures you learn nothing, we've been going to the lectures for 3 months now and none of us can even come up with what kind of questions they might ask on the finals. No one has a clue in any of my classes, then someone the other day asked whether the lectures were really based around the finals and the teacher said "no, it's all just based on the packets, lectures are just to pull things together if you're confused" makes sense, why would you have classes that taught you anything. So we've taken to calling this semester abroad as an academic decathalon, here are the ten obstacles that you must overcome to pass this semester:
1. Classes that are in no way based around your 2 hour final worth 50 percent of your grade
2. Having only 250mb per month of internet at UCT after that you're cut off and must use an internet cafe
3. Blackouts twice a week on campus during school hours
4. blackouts twice a week at your home at night (really makes procrastinating a thing of the past you've never heard so many people say "oh I can't tonight I have to write a paper due 2 days from now in case there is a blackout")
5. You can't buy the books you need on campus or at any specific store in capetown, but the library only has one copy of each on 2 hour loan, tough luck come essay time, oh and amazon won't ship or sell to South Africa
6. The campus printing facilities often go out for weeks at a time (yes for some unknown reason an entire campus of printers is connected)
7. you can't bring coffee (or for that matter anything) into the library (this one might be my least favorite)
8. They have taken the top 25 points off the grade scale so passing is 50-75 so you never really know what you are getting in a class, I mean really what is a 67??
9. Every Thursday and friday there is either a concert, dance competition, drum session or some sort of school sanctioned event right in the middle of campus so that no class room is without noise pollution
10. and my favorite this coming long weekend before most everyones big papers are due and your tests are approaching they have decided to close the library for 6 days in a row followed by a monday with a power outage, luckily they have advertised this in a small corner of the library where i happened to pass on my way to take out a book for 2 hours.
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